Friday, May 8, 2015
Spring has come to Sacramento! And I am, once again, shocked.
I often walk during the lunch hour: to get a sandwich, collect my thoughts, or replace my son's fancy Sees chocolate egg that I (surreptitiously, or so I thought) ate. (He was not happy. And, in hindsight, I should've thrown the box out faster.)
On a warm day like today, I look around at the crowds of people, out getting exercise and enjoying the weather, and feel the urge to ask each one: You seem to care about yourself, and show no signs of textbook masochism. So what possible reason can you have for not wearing a hat?
Like all my standards, my beauty standards are strongly influenced by the 1986 John Hughes film, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. As a hat advocate, I would like to introduce into evidence a recent photo of Mia Sara ("Sloane") in her mid-40s. (Yes, the hat itself is hideous.) She looks fantastic, right? (And her late father-in-law is Jim Henson, so she is just a little cool.)
My hat kick started several years ago, after my son was born. Due to the hormonal changes of pregnancy, I developed faint brown blotches on my face. They mostly faded, but exposure to the sun brought them raring back. So for purely cosmetic reasons, I started wearing hats everywhere. Eight years later, my skin is nothing great, but does not look baked like a cupcake in the California sun. Thanks, hats!
Over the years, I have observed that the only other people wearing hats are elderly Asian women. Now, every time I see a Chinese grandmother in a wrap-around visor, I want to fist-bump her and say: "I know, right?"
Next up: Driving gloves.